Plus size?

(This was a draft I came across from 2014 and I thought it was worth publishing)

I often wonder about societies ideals of body image. The fact that a woman who wears an Australian size 14 (US 10) is considered plus size is quite disturbing.  The average Australian woman is a size 16 making most of us ‘plus size’.

I’ve always been told I was too big. One of my earliest memories is being sung ‘fatty fatty 2 by 4, couldn’t get through the kitchen door’ – and this was by a parent!

The photo below is me and my sisters. I think I was about 14 at the time and I really thought I was fat. Looking at it now I think I looked pretty normal, although the bikini was a bit small!

3poolladies

I’m am trying very hard to get healthier. I’ve got a jawbone UP24 activity tracker and am aiming for 10,000 steps per day. I’m also eating healthier. My goal is not weight loss, it’s reducing my blood sugars, reducing my cholesterol levels and my blood pressure. Health goals, not body image goals.

As part of my diabetes assessment the nurse checked my BMI, which is 41, obviously obese. I know I need to be healthier so accordingly I would like to reach a ‘healthy weight’. For me, based on the past I reckon this is about 75-80 kg. The problem is that at that weight I’m still overweight. To be healthy and not overweight I need to be between 52-70 kg. I don’t think I’ve been 70 kg since adolescence!

I have spoken to people who have had lap band. All of them have lost weight but it hasn’t made them healthier. Many say how it is easy to eat unhealthy food as it goes down smoother. Others may be eating healthy but feel they can’t eat in company as they have to eat very slow to avoid regurgitating. This obviously has an effect on self esteem and confidence, how is this healthy?

I understand there is science behind these numbers but in reality that’s all they are, numbers. Rather than looking at weight on the scale, body mass index or dress size, we should be looking at overall health. The numbers that we need to be considering are the ones that indicate if something is not functioning correctly in our bodies.

I’m not saying fat is healthy but lets reconsider what is unhealthy. Focusing on body image and weight loss as the be all and end all to a healthy life is setting people up for failure.

 

Busy me

Sorry, sorry – I missed last week! It’s crazy time in my office being tax season. At the minute I’m working 10 hour + days and seeing up to 12 people each day for tax returns. Nuts!

Being that work is crazy I’ve let go of my goal of walking for the time being. I am getting a whole lot more incidental exercise. We got some chooks and ducks over the last week so each morning I tramp down the back yard to feed and change their water. Mind you it’s so cold at the moment I can’t feel my fingers while I’m doing it! Also, marching back and forth to the printer at the front of the office and to greet and escort clients to my office so I think the incidental exercise is on the up.

I’m starting to get a little hungry. Not like before where I’d feel like I was going to faint if I didn’t eat. Just niggles and often some protein water chases them away. I’m eating pretty much normal food. Not steak or chops but softer meat and cooked veggies. The only issue I’ve had was some raw cherry tomatoes and I think that is the acid content.

I’m feeling more confident and active. I still get tired really easily – work is draining so by the time I get home it’s eat and off to bed. I’m also finding I’m standing up for myself more. I think when I was so unwell and tired it was easier to roll with the punches so to speak. Now, I’m calling people out if I think their behaviour is not fair.

I can certainly see the difference in my face in this weeks video. I’m sparkly – which I don’t think I’ve been for a long time. Still a long way to go but I am seeing, and feeling the changes and that helps. My 21 year old son reckons I’m looking older the more weight I lose but I don’t care. I’d rather look and old and be healthy than look young and be dying.

Still no regrets 🙂

So 3 weeks down. This week has been ordinary. Eating pureed food which is easy to overeat and boring in so many ways. Not chewing  – just swallowing tiny amounts repetitively until you’re done. I am starting to learn full. It’s tricky when for years I’ve stuffed myself so full was always over full. Now I have to recognise full and stop. If I don’t it hurts!

The scales haven’t moved in the last five days but I really don’t care. I can tell from my clothes that things are changing. a favourite pair of Ariat boots that had always been too tight are now roomy.

I’ve packed up all my expensive plus size clothes that now are too big. I’m not sure what to do with them. A lot of it is suits and work wear, I’m thinking about getting on touch with Dress for Success and see if they are interested in any of it. The other option is a verandah sale when the weather gets better and see if anybody is interested.

I’m still incredibly tired. My goal to walk 30 minutes a day hasn’t happened. I just haven’t had the energy for more than work. I took the day off yesterday and took the teenagers ten pin bowling – then had to have an hour an half nanna nap when we got home!

I’ve started watching Dr Voung on You Tube and also read his VSG book. It did help me realise why I’m so tired. the things we choose for puree are often lacking in nutrition but high in calories. Last night instead I cooked a tiny bit of salmon until it was falling apart and some overcooked broccoli and a brussell sprout. It was delicious and went down fine so hopefully I can focus on some better foods. I also made Andrew and I a green smoothie for breakfast – which didn’t taste like grass!

I’m trying to make Andrew realise as the grocery shopper we don’t need potato chips, lollies, soft drink, chocolate, sweet biscuits ect. AT ALL. I’m getting some pushback as he says I ate them too, and I did, but I didn’t buy them and bring them into the house. I’ve told him if there are no other choices the kids will drink water.

I have to say this isn’t easy – I have been missing food, craving taste and texture this last week. I think it’s partly hormones but I also think a lot of it is head hunger. That wanting to eat for comfort because it’s cold and I’m tired.

This week needs to be a bit of a reset. I need to get better at recognising full, at selecting what food to fill my little tummy with, and I have to get moving.

Onwards and upwards!