Disappearing me

One week post op today. Woohoo. I have to admit it hasn’t been to horrendous. The first probably 18 hours after surgery were crap. Pain, nausea, vomiting, and an X-ray swallow test on top of all that made it pretty ordinary but by Thursday evening I was starting to improve.

Came home Friday – spent two nights sleeping in the spare room without my CPAP as the surgeon wanted me off it for ten days. Realised that wasn’t going to work, moved back to my bed Sunday night, put my darth vader mask on and slept like a baby. Without it I wake up every two to three hours with a smashing headache.

Back to work on Monday – managed to hang in there until 4.30pm. I did have a few little lie downs through the day. Then Tuesday I came in about 10.45am but stuck out the whole day with only one 20 minute rest. Pretty proud of myself actually. I could have taken the time off – I’m supposed to have two weeks but with Allison away it wasn’t fair on Toni and Troy to expect them to run the office on their own.

I’m still having some pain but paracetamol seems to do the trick. I’m struggling to get enough protein in through the day. Instead I’m focusing on fluid as I think dehydration is probably a bigger worry.

I hate my bra – even though it’s soft and I’ve got the back as loose as I can it still feels too tight. I’m freezing – last night I had on my black thermal pjs, a beanie (toque for you canadians) ugg boots, and my robe and was only warm sitting right in front of the combustion heater.

Most importantly (and bloody amazing in my opinion) my diabetes is poof gone! I was sent home from the hospital off all diabetes medication. I think this will have to be reviewed by my endocrinologist when I see him in August but my fasting blood sugars are now completely normal with no medication.

The other thing is the weight loss – which I actually find slightly concerning as it’s so much so quick. On surgery day I was 114.8 kgs (241.19 lbs) BMI 40.7. Not quite where I wanted to be as I was hoping for a BMI under 40. Today I’m 109.4 kgs (241.19 lbs) BMI 38.8. Thats 5.4 kgs (11.9 lbs) in a week. I am hoping it slows down at this rate by Christmas I will have completely evaporated! All up from the start of optigag I’ve lost 17.3 kgs (38.14 lbs).

Would I do this again? in a heartbeat. The hardiest part was the pre surgery diet to be honest. Would I do it if I just had to lose weight? Nope. This is major surgery. If I hadn’t had Type 2 diabetes and severe sleep apnea this wouldn’t have been an option I would have considered.

Mind you it is early days and while I’m very optimistic who knows what the next weeks, months and years may bring.

 

Selfish me

Two sleeps to go until I lose 75% of my stomach. I have to admit I had a little melt down Saturday morning. So much of this process is about getting your head in the right place and I am worried about how that will go after surgery.

Andrew told me I was being a very selfish person at the moment and I am. I have to focus on me. I have to get me to the right place before I have this surgery so I’m in the right place to cope post op. So that means I’m not being a particularly involved wife and mother at the moment so be it.

I am stressing a bit about eating properly post sleeve. I have had eating disorders before and know it can be an easy slippery slope to fall down. I don’t want that happening this time. This isn’t about being thin, it’s about being healthy. I’m going to aim to focus more on the health numbers, my BSL, BP, and cholesterol being normal more than what the scales, and the mirror, say. Mind you that’s easier said than done!

Part of this is keeping my eye on the prize which is being able to be more active and spend time with my family. I realised this week that Amelia won’t remember fat nanna since she’s only 6 weeks old.

I’m on a countdown of optigag shakes – one more for breakfast tomorrow then I’m never touching them again. I’ve made chicken broth in the slow cooker and have a lamb, rosemary and garlic one in there now. Something to look forward to post op. My bag is half packed so I’m nearly ready.

So this will be last post pre op. I’ll see you on the flip side.

 

Crunch Time

Earlier this year I discovered I was going to be a grandmother and I suddenly realised if I wanted to be a part of my grandchilds life I needed to get my shit together with my health.

I have asthma, type 2 diabetes and sleep apnea and being morbidly obese certainly wasn’t helping any of this. So I decided to research weight loss surgery and decided on a sleeve gastrectomy.

Surgery is booked for the 13 of June – 11 days away and I’m starting to freak a little. I decided that the best way to deal was to vlog it so thats what I’m going to do. Hopefully weekly, just to help keep me on track and so I can look back and see the changes as I don’t think I’ll notice otherwise.

I’m no camera expert so they will be rough and ready, not edited. Maybe it will help others thinking about the surgery or going through the surgery to know that they aren’t alone.

I have to say I do feel a bit like I’m letting the big girls down but I don’t think I’ll ever be skinny – I never have – I just need to be healthier.

Life List

I’ve decided that I need to make a list of things I want to do on a regular basis – soul food things. A bucket list is all good and well but I need a list to live by so here is my list at the moment:

  • See, participate and enjoy live music at least once a month
  • Eat a new taste/ cuisine at least once a month
  • Cook something new at least once a month
  • Get a massage at least once a month
  • Read one non fiction book per month
  • Read at least one fiction book per month
  • Try to have breakfast with Cranky Pants at least 4 mornings per week – this is present breakfast no tv, laptops etc
  • Make everyone sit down to a meal together at least twice per week – again being present
  • Find something to make me smile and laugh EVERY DAY!

This is my living list, I’m sure it will grow and change but it’s a starting point.